Dear Social Media

I know it’s really hard to believe, but I can think for myself. Harder to believe these days, but I want to think for myself. That being said, kindly cease and desist the following irritating practices:

The Profile Change. Yes, I have multiple pages. Yes, I may have notifications on each of them. And no, I don’t want my profile to switch over every single time I look at them. This is not a feature. It’s a pain in the ass.

Picking My Comments. Let’s assume that when I hit “comments” under a post, I want to see all of them. I don’t care if there’s 14,000 of them. If I only want to see the top ones, I’ll pick that on my own, thanks. And who the bleep are you to decide which comments I’ll find relevant? Just because you listen in and try to match ads to my interest doesn’t mean you know me.

Banning People. Well, I’d be okay if you banned actual scammers, or actual terrorists, or other horrible people, but since your algorithms are shit and you can’t really tell, just stop, period. In fact, if you have such a great desire to ban things, why not start with all the shady ads from Chinese companies like Dresslily and Roselily and Lilythis and Lilythat? Ban the obvious phishing memes (what town did you go to high school in that may also be the answer to a security question?).

And Speaking of Ads. When I block one, block it in all it’s incarnations. For example, I’ve seen the Starz for $20 for 6 months sponsored under about 10 different names now. I’m sure you love taking their money, but really, I’m tired of blocking every goddamn doppelganger on the list

Broaden Your Horizons. There are times I try to report scammers or spammers or flat-out account thieves. But your questions as to why I’m reporting don’t cover a fraction of the possibilities. Nor do you give anywhere the the complainant to explain. I guess it’s easier to dismiss it out of hand that way.

Enough Emojis. I want to type the word. I don’t want a cute emoji. I know where they are. I know how to use them. Stop trying to speak, or think, for me.

Because more of us need to speak for ourselves, now. And loudly.

Published by azbaelus

Local artist, author, slacker, gamer!

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