A Newish Not-Rant

I decided I really shouldn’t call them rants. I get angry, but it’s still low-key. I usually still appear calm. Ok, not always, but usually. Things have to build for a while before I do the splutter-red-faced-curseapalooza thing. But I do have to speak up when things set me off. Today, a meme set me off.

“I worked through the whole lockdown. Can you say the same? Repost if you can!”

Well, fuck you, Martha.

First off, if you know me, I don’t play the “repost”, “type amen and share”, “copy and paste on your wall” games. It’s like chain letters. If that’s your thing, enjoy. But don’t be upset if I don’t participate, because it’s not mine. Second…I’m not sure what this is even trying to say, but no matter how I interpret it, I don’t like it. No, I didn’t. I can’t. Should I be ashamed? I didn’t work because I was already unemployed, and with lockdown, the places I applied to changed over to work from home, and put hiring on freeze. They couldn’t train new folks outside the office environment. Some of them had to let people go, not take on more. So…should I be ashamed that I wasn’t working? I also wasn’t living on unemployment for most of it. I had a severance, that adequately provided for me, but I was terrified.

What was I going to do once the severance ran out, as it was soon to do? What if the lockdown lasted weeks or months before my only income stopped? So, during the whole lockdown, I cycled daily through anxiety and depression. I laid awake at night, trying to envision a future and where on earth I could get money from. I was petrified of my sugar being high, or somehow hurting myself, or doing anything that would require a doctor or dentist. Having no family, and living alone, I was more strung out by the lack of human contact. Who could I talk to without sounding like I was complaining, or whining?

I wanted to work. So, what’s your point?

You worked, goodie for you. And I’m grateful for the essential folks. A lot of you didn’t have a choice in the matter, because if you left your job, you’d be in my boat, or maybe worse, if you had others to support. I still respect that you stuck with it. I don’t know if I could have, especially with other people getting in my face for stupid, self-entitled reasons.

But don’t belittle me. Or anyone else. While this rant isn’t about racism, there’s a common core to it: stop judging others by your experience. I’ve never had a run in with a bad cop (some scary ones, absolutely….there was one in New Lebanon that reminded me of Desperation from Stephen King) but that absolutely doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. I’ve never used food stamps, but I don’t know why the woman in front of me is using them, or how she got them, or why or if she needs them. I don’t know her situation. I was bullied a little in grade school, but never because of skin color, and never to the point where I feared for my life.

I haven’t lived it, I can’t judge others for it. Do unto others…seems many “Christians” have forgotten that one. Or, in my rede, “an’ it harm none, do as ye will.”


So, yeah, I didn’t work during lockdown. You did. By your own admission later in the thread, you were venting, but you annoyed others besides me with a “better-than-thou” attitude. Venting is understandable, but FFS think before you post instead of using that stupid meme.

Oh, and likewise, yes, I hate cancer, who the hell doesn’t? But I’m not going to cut and paste and say “amen” to show I hate cancer. Maybe I’ll donate to the American Cancer Society and do something useful instead of being a twat on social media.

Published by azbaelus

Local artist, author, slacker, gamer!

One thought on “A Newish Not-Rant

  1. UGH! I know the meme/post you are talking about… and it pissed me off royally (I am not sure what the Royals have to do with that, but it is something Margaret would always say). This was the reason I felt I needed to pipe up. WTF was that meme/post trying to say? Why are we belittling or making someone feel bad if they didn’t or couldn’t?

    Like you said, I am grateful for essential workers, and even some workers whose job was not essential (Do we need 4 Dunkin Donuts on Route 7 in a 3 mile area?), but am grateful they had a job to go to. Sure, I worked through this (not bragging) but I never considered my position essential.

    I love your rants/not so rants so keep on ranting!

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