My Platform

Let me start by stating what I really hope should be obvious: this is a joke. I’m kidding. But, if I ever were to run for public office, here are a few pet peeves I have, that I think maybe others share. I doubt any of them are actually addressable.

  1. Spammers and scammers. Not so much the email ones, but the phone ones. All these car warranty places, and credit card consolidation assholes. ALL OF THEM. Because I’m job hunting, I actually do answer my phone, hoping for it to be a potential employer, which makes these calls that much more irritating. And whether I ask nicely, or curse them out, they hang up on me. So, if you or anyone you know works for one of these shitbags, pass this along: no matter how desperate I may get for either a car warranty or a debt consolidation loan, I’m never going to use a company that pushes itself down my throat unsolicited, or hides behind other phone numbers, or blatantly breaks the law by ignoring my request to go on the do not call list. Your business model is garbage to me, so if you keep calling, know that somehow, somewhere, I will get your info and I will sic the Attorney General and the BBB and the Winchesters on you.
  2. Channels that lie. You want educational TV? Don’t try The Learning Channel. Unless you want to learn how to be an angry bride or run a pawnshop or something.Want to see sites of the world? The Travel Channel ain’t for you. The only place they travel is apparently the Astral Plane. And once upon a time, MTV played music videos. Maybe we could get some fraud charges to stick. I mean, you don’t see OTB playing old game show reruns, right?
  3. Volume, volume. People on their phones in public is certainly normal, if a little sad. Less socializing is probably not a good sign for society overall, but it’s not going away anytime soon, and hell, I’m guilty of it,  too. I think maybe part of it is that conversation, or being alone with our thoughts, has become uncomfortable and it’s much easier to be constantly distracted. My beef is people who have the volume SO jacked on their phone that I can plainly hear what they’re listening to, even several feet away. I don’t quite remember where I was the other day, waiting for a friend to show for a movie? Or dinner? But there was a young girl there, maybe 8 or 9, and I could plainly hear every single cat video. She wasn’t next to me. She was about 10 or 12 feet away, and she kept showing her mom the videos. And did mom have the good sense to advise her to turn the volume down? Well…I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t an issue. It’s simple courtesy, and I think I’ll fine your ass for every video I’m forced to listen to.
  4. Food Network Snobbery. Maybe it’s me, living paycheck to paycheck, and the rest of the world is doing considerably better. And I love Food Network. I’ve learned a lot. I simplify it for Spirit, who cooks for me, and my numbers are so much better than when I was eating out all the time. But riddle me this: how many average households are using caviar, saffron, and truffles? I remember on last season of MasterChef Junior, when one kid remarked that him and his father cooked filet mignon and lobster once a week. WHAT? Must be nice. Pricey enough for me, one person. Imagine a family of 4, or 6, living that well. Yes, I’m jealous. A lot of the stuff on these shows, even if it were in my price range, are nowhere to be found in this area. The most likely ingredients from Chopped to be found in my kitchen are probably salmon (one of those bourbon portions), some form of green, beer, and gummy critters.

That’s enough for now, but it’s plenty to start a campaign. OH…and those lawn signs. Holy crap, I don’t think any of you can comprehend my hatred for political lawn signs. They’re a blight on the landscape, a waste of paper/cardboard/whatever…why, why, why? Put your energy and money on something CONSTRUCTIVE. So yeah, you won’t see them in my campaign, either. My money will go to shelters, because I want the animal votes.

Lastly, for those following for book/art info, yes, I fell behind on the writing again. I have ramped up on the artwork, though, producing a lot more D&D monsters, and coloring the existing ones. The only upcoming Con I have set in stone is Saratoga, the first weekend in May. I am waiting to hear on a couple other opportunities, so y’know, if I don’t get elected to whatever I was running for, I still have something to occupy my time.

Published by azbaelus

Local artist, author, slacker, gamer!

One thought on “My Platform

  1. You have my vote, and I feel your pain especially with the unsolicited calls. I cannot say how many times I have either pressed the number to be taken off of their call list, have tried to advise them I am on the National Do Not Call Registry, or have added their “numbers” to the registry.

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