What It Is To Be Alone

You may often wish to be alone, or to have your own space.  But beware of what you wish for.  Downtime in moderation is great.  But after being alone for too long, it turns crushing.

1. No one to share with.  See something funny?  See a rainbow on the way home from work?  Someone get off a good one at work?  And you come home, and there’s no one to share it with.  Oh, the really good stuff you can call a friend for, but the smaller things, which would have great conversational value, you swallow.  Unless you want to tell it to the laundry.

2.  No one to talk to.  This follows naturally from #1.  You start to talk to yourself, or your pets, so you don’t go nuts.  So your voice doesn’t wither away from lack of use.  And talking to the cat is sort of like “mom home with the kids syndrome”…you forget how to talk to adults.  You desperately need interaction with your peers, interaction that isn’t fulfilled by a mere 8 hour workday.  Of a 24 hour day, imagine 16 of them never saying a word, simply because there’s no one to say it to.

3.  Do for yourself, or it doesn’t get done.  Can’t lift it?  Can’t open it?  Just don’t feel like it?  Well, hard facts: it’s going to sit there, unless you actually set up a time for someone to come help.  And if it’s as simple as opening the pickle jar…not likely to happen.  Don’t feel well?  Sorry, buttercup, but there’s no one to run to the store to get you meds, or to make you soup.  Drag your wheezing, gacking ass to the car and go get your own Nyquil, unless your lucky enough to have really good neighbors.

4. Cooking for one sucks.  It’s doable, but how often do you come home from work and just don’t feel up to it?  But on the flip side, eating out is pricey and not very good for you. Sadly, when you’re alone, you aren’t going to come home to a meal waiting for you, nor is there someone to at least talk to and pep you up while you cook.  So you whip something up, eat it while watching tv, maybe do the dishes, and then go to bed.  Wash, rinse, repeat. Until you die.

5.  Stuck with your own thoughts.  You know how your brain goes into overdrive when all you want to do is sleep?  When you’re alone, your brain is ALWAYS like that.  You can use television, hobbies, reading, gaming as distractions, but it can’t fill all that time, and your mind will invariably slip down to how lonely you are, or maybe you have a tumor, or how long it will take someone to find you if you die at home, or how will you pay the rent next month, or what that noise is from under your car…..

6.  The odd wheel out…again.  The extra chair someone has to get.  The event you can’t go to although your friends are, because its for couples and you’d look like an ass being alone.  In fact, any event where its all couples, and then you.  But you don’t call your friends to go do something, because they’re a couple, and you assume they’re doing couply things, or one or the other probably has plans and you’d just be interrupting.

Published by azbaelus

Local artist, author, slacker, gamer!

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