What is it about…

…cooking shows?  The contest ones, not the Rachel Ray stuff.  MasterChef, Hell’s Kitchen, etc.

I love these shows, but because I like to eat.  I can’t cook.  Eh, I suppose actually, I can, but I am alone, I don’t have an oven, and I don’t do leftovers.  So, why would I?  But some things about these shows bug me, much as I enjoy them.

  1.  Arrogance.  Holy mother of crap, is it just the ones who get picked for tv, because I can’t believe all chefs are this arrogant.  MasterChef perhaps isn’t as bad, but Hell’s Kitchen seems to balance it out, because they clearly choose drama over talent.  Sadly, I’m one of the few who doesn’t care for the drama.  I’m interested in the challenges, to see who can do “outside the box” ideas (like…lamb doesn’t always have to be herb-encrusted, and there are other ways to cook pork loin than pan searing).  I was ready to even stop watching Hell’s Kitchen this season, because the biggest of the bullies and drama whores were left on for so long, and I was tired of them…but one went home last night.
  2. Chopped seems to really live up to its name.  Someone is always slicing some part of a finger/thumb/palm.  I’m the biggest spaz on the planet, always finding mystery scratches and bruises, and I don’t hurt myself that much.  Hell, MasterChef Junior is about 8 and 9 year olds and THEY have more care.  On top of that…most of the people I’ve seen on Chopped (thus far) are restaurateurs or head chefs, and supposedly professionals.  CHOP!  “I slap a glove on it.  Then I realize I bled all over the judges’ plates.”  Eeewww.
  3. Where does the food go?  I’ve seen this mentioned re: MasterChef Junior, that the judges only taste a couple of dishes.  They must at some point, taste everything, even if not all of it is shown on camera.  But these people are all cooking full portions, and the judges are only tasting a bite or two.  Is all that extra thrown out?  Maybe it’s donated to a nearby soup kitchen?  I would hope so.  These are some fine ingredients and I’d hate to think of the waste.  These ain’t ramen noodles here, people.  And whatever Gordon may say, someone somewhere would probably be grateful for “a dog’s dinner”.
  4. More bacon.  Speaks for itself.  There can only be winners in a competition like that, unless its left all fatty and chewy.

Anyway, if you need something to read while watching these shows (see, that’s what I do when it gets super-dramatic, or when the Hell’s Kitchen team gets to celebrate a win in Vegas…seriously, I just can’t care)….go to Amazon and pick up some books.

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