….on spam. As in email, not the Monty Python-endorsed canned meat.
I wonder about it because I still get so much of it, and it’s the same companies every time. Really, folks? Do you think after how many years of your crap I’m going to finally succumb and click the link? Do you think I’m really going to bow down and get some insurance from AIG? (Cause hey, there’s a company that’s really proven itself). Do you really think I’m going to finally buckle and apply for a reverse mortgage? (A fascinating trick, since I don’t even own my home.)
Burial insurance? Yes, for the love of Pete, yes, just stop e-mailing me! Wen hair care? Don’t know what the fuck it is, but if you’re that insistent, I must need it!
And Match.com. Don’t even get me started. I blocked them, (and let it be known I’ve never been on their site or invited their attention in any way), and still the emails come, but to get around the spam filters, now they toss in random hyphens: m-at-ch.com, or mat-c-h.com…you get the idea.
Don’t forget the flat-out scams. The Nigerian money tree still happens; I’ve gotten that one a couple times. It’s tempting to respond with something completely inane, but in the end, I don’t bother. I’d rather not let them know mine is an active email.
What can I say. Someone somewhere must be biting, or they’d give up by now. But man, if they could only use their powers for good. Because no, honestly, I don’t want a condo in Dubai, with a complimentary alpaca, and I don’t want a free grandmother if I subscribe to ancestors.com, and I don’t need a platinum card with a $25ooo credit limit at only 42% interest and my choice of celebrity genitals for the picture.
No. Thank. You.