Matchups We’d Like To See

1.  Groot vs. Audrey 2.  A giant, loveable tree taking on a sassy, man-eating flytrap?  That would boost HGTVs ratings.  I see a lot of roots and tentacles going at it, although in his favor, Audrey 2 also has teeth and can open his mouth considerably wider than Groot.  Groot would certainly win the fan base, with his gentle nature and sweet face, but Audrey 2 has the fast-talking ability to win the endorsement deals.

2.  The Winchesters vs. Professor McGonagall.  Sam and Dean have repeatedly mentioned their hatred of witches.  A bit biased, in my opinion, but of course, they’ve mostly met the bad ones.  Could they stand against one of the great witches of Hogwarts?  Minerva McGonagall doesn’t bother with hexbags, but then again she’s not doing evil deeds to catch the attention of the Winchesters.  Still, I can’t imagine she’d fight them, misguided as they are.  With her penchant for wisdom and fairness, she might be the one witch capable of talking the Hunters out of their anti-witch mindset.  On the other hand, if Sam distracted her with his good looks while Dean came in from behind with a salted stake soaked in saint’s blood, or a machete, she wouldn’t do quite so well.

3.  Jacob from Twilight vs. Grimm.  I suppose since he shifts to wolf form (or volgas) this would make him a blutbad.  But he’s so much more annoying than Monroe, with teeth so white they’re almost blue. Well, like him or hate him, he really wouldn’t stand up to Nick unless he maybe brought his entire tribe with him.  Or would he?  He does actually change into a giant wolf, as opposed to just a facial change, so I imagine he’s harder to take down.   If Nick got him from a distance with a gun or crossbow, it would be a fairly easy kill, but he’d never get close enough to try a machete or axe.

4.  Oswald Cobblebot vs Norman Bates.  Young Norman, mind you, as in Freddie Highmore, and young Oswald, as in Gotham.  Two up and coming psychotics.  There wouldn’t be a lot of action at first, since both of these nuts are so cerebral.  The joy is more in the plotting, at least for Oswald.  Norman doesn’t plot so much; instead he sort of works himself into a killer fugue state, but again, its fun to watch.  Whoever wins, Norman won’t remember it.

Published by azbaelus

Local artist, author, slacker, gamer!

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