…only in a video game….

…do animals drop treasure, like breastplates, magic wands, and gold.

…can adventurers collect all that treasure, because everyone can carry 8-12 backpacks, along with their weapons.

…can you be a hero to everyone yet make extra gold by rolling the corpses of innocents.

…can you shamelessly steal from barrels, boxes, and chests in town, and out of the homes of peasants  (ok, in Skyrim it gets you in trouble)

…do people reward you for crap like rat ears, bat wings, and spider fangs.  Apparently spider fangs make great pushpins.

…can a monstrously strong warrior whip a 2-handed sword around like a car antennae, but be stymied by a thin wooden door.

…is armor designed to be the biggest and strongest to protect the shoulders above all else.

…does everyone wear their name above their head like a magical name badge?  Are they going to ask if I want fries with my loot?

…are guards in newbie areas omnipotent.  They should be in the fantasy equivalent of Dunkin Donuts, slurping free coffee and beetle crispies, and get rolled by level 2 mobs like the Keystone Kops.

…can you swim in armor, the only penalty perhaps a reduced movement rate.

…do you never clean said armor, or the clothes under it.  Assuming you aren’t commando under that pinchy chain.

Published by azbaelus

Local artist, author, slacker, gamer!

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