Kipp
I’m so confused. Are we the intended victims, or are we suspects? And who is he? If he’s known Sandor for so long, how come I’ve never met him before?
Anders
I don’t know him, either. What kind of history are you talking about?
Detective
If the audience will be good enough to take some time and examine their clues, the history will be revealed. You’ll all be on equal footing. And by the way, I really recommend you find that scorpion.
*****
Detective
Seems some interesting backgrounds have come to light, haven’t they? After all, in this modern day and age, who would have thought a cult worshipping the ancient god Set would still be active?
Anders
You’ve got to be kidding.
Detective
Not at all. Ask the cultist himself.
Seth
I hardly see where having a different religion qualifies me as being a murderer.
Kipp
A religion devoted to an evil god. A god symbolized by a scorpion, no less.
Seth
He wasn’t viewed as evil until much later. Masenji said as much himself, and you, being a student of Egyptology, must know that, too.
Kipp
Oh, that’s right. He wasn’t accepted as evil until he chopped his brother Osiris into little bits. No wonder you’d want to get your hands on that scorpion. You better just fork it over.
Seth
First off, I don’t appreciate being threatened. And secondly, I don’t have the scorpion. I’m even willing to let Philip Marlowe there frisk me, if you don’t believe me.
Detective
Oh, that’s not necessary.
Anders
So that’s why you and Masenji butted heads? Something to do with your cult?
Seth
He didn’t care about the cult. We didn’t harm anyone.
Kipp
Oh, just spent your Friday nights sacrificing sheep, did you?
Seth
I”ve had just about enough of you.
Detective
Please, Ms. Kipp. We happen to know that you yourself have a few secrets.
Kipp
What?
Detective
You weren’t Masenji’s first assistant. He’s been in the archaelogy field since you were eating glue in the third grade. His first assistant was a Russell…someone, the last name escapes me. Whatever happened to him?
Kipp
He died. I don’t know how. Sandor didn’t talk about him much. I got the impression he died very young, though.
Seth
Aha!
Anders
Oh, I remember that. He was young. It was a terrible tragedy; made all the papers. A hit and run . He and Sandor were heading back to their hotel after a lecture at Washington University. They never caught the driver.
Detective
Ah, difficult. An accident, or intentional?
Kipp
My god, you think that was a murder, too?
Detective
It’s a possibility.
Anders
I know Sandor felt horrible about it. It was late at night, and it happened so fast that he didn’t catch any of the license plate. He had no description at all to give the police. I think he carried that guilt for a long time.
Kipp
I suppose that’s understandable, but I really don’t see how that can be considered a secret of mine.
Detective
Ah, we will get there in good time, my dear. Anders, Sandor Masenji helped you get your position at the museum, didn’t he? Curator of the Hart-Pheonix?
Anders
He pulled a few strings, I guess. He certainly had his contacts.
Detective
That’s quite a favor.Anders
Yes. It was a hell of an opportunity. So what’s suspicious about that?
Detective
Considering you weren’t the best of friends, it was quite a gesture. He could have just as easily sent you to jail.
Kipp
What?
Seth
Uh huh, and I’m the bad guy. I’m really starting to enjoy this.
Detective
Because, Mr. Anders, isn’t it true that you were caught up in a forgery scheme at your last job? You were an administrative clerk at the Historical Society. A clerk often has access to documents such as company checks, correct?
Kipp
Anders, you didn’t!
Anders
I did. Are you satisfied? I wrote out checks to myself and forged the treasurer’s signature. I only did it three or four times. I got perhaps three thousand dollars total, so it wasn’t very lucrative.
Detective
Only three or four times doesn’t make it right.
Anders
Well, to save the detective’s breath I may as well tell you, I was easily caught. In fact, I think they knew after the second time, but let me do it again to make sure they had enough evidence. Sandor had his contacts there, too, and he pulled in all his favors to get me out. He paid the restitution and convinced them to drop the charges, then got me a job clear across the country.
DetectiveAny idea of why he would go to such lengths for you?
Anders
I assumed it was because he was having an affair with my sister at the time. That was why we didn’t get along. I didn’t approve.
Kipp
But in spite of that, he bailed you out. Pretty generous of him.
Seth
Sure, but he also got him shipped three thousand miles away.
Detective
Friends, the secrets are partially out. Question our suspects, and find how the secrets tie in to create the motives, and you will find our murderer. And, I believe, the golden scorpion.
This is an excerpt from a script I wrote for a dinner theater murder mystery. It’s not published, and has never been performed. I’d still like to give it a run sometime.
azbaelus 