Author Archives: azbaelus

With the hate.  No wonder so many of us have anxiety and depression and want nothing to do with people.  Every single encounter has a chance to erupt into an argument, and possibly escalate to violence.  Everyone is on the edge, everyone is insanely opinionated, and a lot of someones are self-absorbed and entitled. I […]

I am an artist. It is always hard to say that.  It is hard to accept myself as such.  I often consider myself mediocre, or inferior, but I’ve sold artwork for money.  People like my artwork, strangers included.  I have been complimented frequently on my line work.  My work has been called “creepy but cool”.  […]

So, updating for those out of the loop.  Or for those who simply haven’t talked to me in a while.  (What happened to all those “check in on a friend” posts everyone puts up all the time?  I guess my anxiety/depression isn’t really bad enough for me to merit that.) 55 days left on the […]

For what’s to come.  Nothing major, but it’s almost February, which means I will disappear.  Because if I stick around, it’s not pretty. February is everything horrific in my life.  My mother and grandmother died 3 days apart in 1985, and while my relationship with my mother was absolutely rotten, I adored my grandmother, and […]

I don’t think I do this annually.  Maybe I should, but that would require a working memory and stuff. While social media is a lovely tool, yes, I along with others think its gone too far and has hurt our basic ability to interact and communicate with each other.  I certainly have my limitations.  People […]

The good?  More pictures!  We saw a few parades, including the one for Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party, which would have been perfect if it had been warmer than 30 degrees.  Yep, you read that right.  The fake snow felt all too real (although it always looks beautiful when you don’t have to clean it […]

Putting this out for a dear friend; PLEASE help find this pup a home.  He did have a home, but sadly, he does not do well with other dogs.  He’s a people person.  This was somewhat misrepresented by the shelter.  So, passing it forward again (and I’ve met and puppysat this guy, so I know […]

With the hernia surgery and FMLA paperwork and blah blah blah, of course, the magical things get left in the dust.  But I’m home, a bit sore and achy (altho for the first time in a month and a half, my sugar has dropped to normal) and bored because there’s a huge game patch happening, […]

Probably easier to explain my meltdown here. Stress is tearing me up.  Stress at work, well, that’s a biggie.  Will I have a job in a few months?  That’s part of it, too. Saratoga Comic Con is next weekend.  I always stress over Cons.  It’s what I do. Then, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I go […]

So, all the anticipation, and its over, and I’m home and alone and cold and sad again.  And chronologically so messed.  The timeline:  Metallica Monday night (parked about 3 zip codes away), with an hour nap before.  Got home a bit after midnight.  Set the alarm to get nearly 2 hours sleep, only actually got […]