If you know me, or follow me on Facebook, you know I don’t cook. My cat Spirit is my chef. And for a cat, he’s pretty skilled. And his big dream is to beat Bobby Flay. (I did offer to look into a MasterChef cruise for him, but the whole cat and water thing…no.)
So after watching a LOT of Beat Bobby Flay, and doing some thinking, and studying the little furbaby, I see it may be possible. Why, you ask?
- He doesn’t trash talk. How many chefs can’t beat each other because they’re so busy running their mouths? Spirit does talk a lot, at least to me, but around strangers, not so much. And he’s not the trash-talking type.
- He’ll be 5 in May. A lot of chefs pick their signature dish as something they’ve made every day for 40 years, and they think they can do it in their sleep. Sadly, that usually means they are too deep in their comfort zone, and they’ve become complacent. Spirit has only really been cooking for about 3 years, maybe 4, and he changes it up every day.
- Why does he change it up every day? Because he’s a cat, therefore, he can’t read, and he’s colorblind. He doesn’t KNOW what he’s putting a in a pinch of. In fact, without opposable thumbs, he can’t pinch anything. However, for a colorblind kitty, he does have a stunning sense of presentation.
- Find me one judge who can look at that face and deny him. Well, maybe Simon Majumdar, cause he’s notoriously rough to please. And maybe a vegetarian judge. Spirit is, after all, a carnivore, and he cooks like one.
- Animals are simple. Most competitors who go against Bobby and blow it just overreach. Signature dish is Salisbury steak? Oh, I’m going to make mine out of lamb and veal, with a picante guava habanero gravy and a side of heirloom sundried tomatos stuffed with manchego and dill baked under the salamander and an almond-kale-watercress-peanut-butter pesto. No, no, no. You want shrimp? Spirit gives you shrimp. Simple yummy shrimp. Granted, he doesn’t get the concept of “cuisine”. There is no Asian, or Mexican, or Indian. He can’t read, remember? So yeah, one dish may include ginger and cumin and cilantro all together, but he’ll make it delicious.
- Lastly, he rivals Scott Conant in grooming. How much better can you look for television?